Aiii yi yi!!

WARNING: Angsty post ahead...read at your own risk

Well, here I am. Sitting, per usual, trying to think of what to write. A lot has gone on these past couple of weeks and I don't really know where to start. So this may be out of chronological order, but I promise to try and keep it followable.
The "life change", as I like to call it, is apparently on hold. I have been slacking on the water-drinking, healthy eating, sleep-getting, exercising agenda I had set up for myself. Now mind you, I have been able to keep any food binges at bay, but I know they may just be lurking in the shadows waiting to strike (as if they were a creepy man in a trench coat and a blue thong standing behind some trees with a bandolero across the chest...some will get that reference, others won't, please ask if you are interested, but it will illuminate just how weird I really am).
I gotta get with it! It is beautiful out and all I want to do after work is come home and nap.
Speaking of work, that is where a lot of my stress is seeming to be stemming from. It is the busy season in the vet field. This is when most people bring their pets in for the annual heartworm/tick disease panels and get set up with their heartworm preventative. Along with all the sickies we get it makes for a very, very busy time. Today, I literally ran and read about 6 fecal samples, 2 urine samples, a couple of blood panels, an ear smear, 6 heartworm tests, and a vaginal cytology (I had to put that in there for the shock factor...but I did run one) within an hour and 45 minutes. It may not seem like much, but it is, I promise (oh woe is me, I know).
   Losing a receptionist within the last week (an unexpected and sad development) may not seem like a big deal, but it really is. Especially when the receptionist is someone I really like. I really like all of my co-workers so it makes it tough when one of the team is gone. Combine that with working weird shifts and still being short-staffed, it being triple-booked busy and everyone just being exhausted/crabby in general it can be a bit of a challenge to keep up with my own health.
   I know that it is my responsibility to take care of myself, but I am tired and the last thing I want to do is figure out what may be best for me to eat, when I can just stop at the gas station on the way home and get some pre-packaged junk. The catch 22 of this situation is that I would be in a lot better spirits if I did focus on eating better and getting exercise...I just don't have the motivation to do it.
   To kind of point me in the right direction I am going to have blood drawn on Wednesday am to check my vitamin D levels, thyroid, triglycerides (hard to believe, but I have high cholesterol...shocking, I know) and hemoglobin (I get weird little blood marks over my body that my doctor is mildly concerned about even though I have had it all my life). Hopefully this will give me some idea on supplements I can take to help combat my tendency to slip into deeper funk. 
   As many of you know (and maybe others don't) I deal with anxiety and depression. It's been diagnosed by more than 1 psychiatrist and my general practitioner so I know it isn't just the occasional blues.  Combine these issues with stress at work and my difficulty in shutting the worry switch off, which my jaw just loves me for (clenchy mcgee here) and I have yet another obstacle to get over. Trust me, I am well aware that I am not the only one with stress and/or other issues. I just feel better and more empowered when I talk about them. Now I haven't put it out there like this for just anyone to read before, but already I feel better.
   If anything, this is just a reminder that only I can change me and my life and that letting out the negative will help the positive sneak in. I am wondering if I can find any more corntastic sentiments to fill this space up with? Now, to help round out this post I am going to post a few of the many positives that have occurred in the last few weeks (thanks for the idea Beks)

Sophie and the rest my family (both my and jeremy's fam)....I love them all and wouldn't be able to do this without their support...seriously (and of course, Sophie can make me smile even when I am feeling/acting like mega-bitch...or living up to my parent's nickname for me growing up "foul-mood megan")

Anne's wedding...she was beautiful and so happy and we all had so much fun celebrating with her and Garrett

My friends...much like my family, I know this blog wouldn't be happening (or continuing) without them...

I am not going to proofread this, just put it out there raw so sorry for the mistakes etc